Thinking about marriage – and why neither I nor so many similarly situated sisters (alliteration!) have been hitched – after seeing this Atlantic article titled: “Wealthy Women Can Afford to Reject Marriage, but Poor Women Can’t.”
The writer says:
Taking a stand against patriarchy is much easier if you’re well-educated, have a stable income, and live in a community where you could theoretically find an educated, employed man to marry. For poor, uneducated women, especially those who have kids, the question of whether to get married looks a lot different: It’s the choice between raising children on one or two incomes, between having someone to help with household chores and child-rearing alone while working multiple jobs.
For educated black women with a stable income, it’s more complicated. Black women are the least likely to be in interracial pairings and the least likely to be approached on online dating sites by men – black or not. (And least married, period.) Add that to the government’s mass incarceration of the men mostly likely to be our partners. Once you have a criminal record, it’s damn near impossible to get a good job (or federal loans for college). And factor in that in Memphis, less than 25 percent of adults have a four-year college degree, the acquisition of which means you’ll earn lots more over your lifetime than a high school grad.
After all this, the question of whether to get married seems like a theoretical exercise. At best.